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Pamela7030
Moderator
800 Posts |
 Posted - 01/11/2009 : 08:50:18 AM
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January 11, 2009
From the time I was a little girl, I can remember feeling like I didn’t quite belong. It seemed that I always said and did the wrong things at the wrong time. I felt a big empty hole inside of me, and I spent the next twenty years trying to fill it.
I always wanted desperately to fit in somewhere. I had a very low self-image. I hated myself. I wished I could be somebody, anybody other than me. I felt like a loser and, looking back on it, that’s probably why everybody treated me like one. I was a victim by choice, but I didn’t know it.
The first drug I ever used was vodka, after which I blacked out, and then passed out. The first time I smoked marijuana was the same way. I had heard marijuana didn’t do much, so I smoked four joints in a row just to make sure. It worked!
It didn’t take long for me to find harder drugs and start using them. I was afraid of a lot of things, but trying out new drugs wasn’t one of them.
More and more I now started to depend heavily on drugs to make me feel better, or at least different. I guess that I wanted to get loaded and stay that way forever.
No matter where I went or the company that I kept, I was loaded, and I was still me. Nothing seemed to fit, and I always ended up alone.
I drank, dropped, snorted, smoked and sniffed my way thought the next seven years until something terrifying began to happen. I could take more and more and more drugs, but I would pass out before I ever got that good feeling. I guess that the feelings which I had always run from could not be pushed down any longer. They were eating me alive. I tried and tried to use more to get that good feeling back, but all I got was more and more afraid. I didn’t know what was happing to me. I couldn’t turn my head off. I became more and more afraid of people until I was just living like a hermit.
I felt a lot of humiliation and degradation during my addiction. I did a lot of things loaded which I am grateful that I don’t have to do today.
Drugs were my life. I didn’t know how to give them up. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually empty, and I was very, very scared.
At my first NA meeting, I knew that I had come home. I had finally found people who were just like myself. I was still scared of everyone, but somehow I knew that this was my last chance at life. If I couldn’t make it here, it would be the end for me.
They had something that I desperately wanted. I had heard that if I put as much into the program as I did into using then I could make it.
Desperation drove me to NA, and desperation is what has kept me coming back. I am grateful for the bottom that I finally hit, because it gave me the willingness to work the steps, go to meetings, and just “Live One Day At A Time.”
All the pain that I felt during my using led me to more pain, but every ounce of pain that I experience in the program, staying clean, brings me more growth, and more peace. I did not know how to live, and the program is teaching me for the first time. I am finally facing the old enemy, me. I am learning to accept myself, and even to like myself, a day at a time.
© 2003 NA WSO, Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous, Fifth Edition, Pages, 129, 130 and 131 with permission form Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
"Reach for the stars...You will at least end up among the clouds"
Share your experience, strength, and hope with another and see the miracles transform your life!
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2009 : 10:06:05 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 12, 2009
Footprints of Hope
Going the whole route looked too hard -- until someone said to me,
"One step at a time."
So I looked ahead, along the path marked by the footprints of hope,
commitment, and action.
All around me were many happy, sober people who had walked that path.
Listening intently to their stories, I heard some more horrifying than mine . . .
It was plain that all these alcoholics had once felt the same hopelessness,
fear, pain, and anger I had experienced.
It was also obvious that people with drinking troubles like mine
could come out of them and -- unbelievable as it seemed at first -- laugh at them!
©1986 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 2], p.136
Thought to Ponder . . .
Take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2009 : 06:39:18 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 13, 2009
Gratitude
I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart
cannot entertain great conceits.
When brimming with gratitude,
one's heartbeat must surely result in ongoing love,
the finest emotion that we can ever know.
©1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p.37
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
I am grateful for this minute. My eternity may be in it.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Thank God I'm Forgiven.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2009 : 10:15:13 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 14, 2009
Happiness
The simplicity of the AA program teaches me
that happiness isn't something I can "demand."
It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others.
In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed,
I find that my own sobriety has been recharged
with indescribable gratitude and happiness.
©1990 AAWS, Daily Reflections, p.25
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Happiness is part of the journey, not some distant destination.
AA-related 'Alconym' . .
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2009 : 09:49:27 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 15, 2009
Tradition One
"Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on AA unity."
We stay whole, or AA dies. Without unity, the heart of AA would cease to beat . . .
Back again in their caves, alcoholics would reproach us and say,
"What a great thing AA might have been!"
©1953 AAWS,Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p.129
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
The Twelve Steps tell us how it works; the Twelve Traditions tell us why it works.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Try Relying Upon Steps and Traditions.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2009 : 09:15:59 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 17, 2009
Isolation
Isolation is bad for new people, old people, and in-between people
if they are alcoholic people. Isolation sneaks up on us.
We can mask it with familiar props that are not in themselves bad.
We can isolate ourselves in an attempt to clean up our apartments
(and then not do the cleaning);
we can isolate ourselves in churches or in sleep; we can use family,
sweethearts, compulsive working, television. The list is long.
The nicest way to end it is the way you and I do: together.
Reach out -- people can't read your mind.
Say ouch! Someone hears. Always.
©1980 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 1], pp.84-5
Thought to Ponder . . .
Isolation is a darkroom for developing negatives.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Call your sponsor,
Ask for help from your Higher Power,
Read the Big Book,
Do the Twelve Steps,
Stay active in your group.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2009 : 09:18:31 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 18, 2009
Tradition Three
"The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking."
Tradition Three defines the personal liberty of the AA member.
It says, in effect, that any alcoholic can be an AA member the moment he says so.
Neither can any of us deprive him of that membership,
no matter what his behavior. . .
Every AA newcomer feels at once that he is wanted and trusted and loved.
©1988 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Language of the Heart, p.317
Thought to Ponder . . .
AA is like an adjustable wrench; it fits almost any nut.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
All Accepted.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2009 : 06:51:14 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 19, 2009
Survey
We should make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life
as it has affected other people.
In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others
has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has.
Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts
persist below the level of consciousness.
©1953 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp.79-80
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
If I want to be free as a butterfly, I've got to get over having once been a worm.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Always Aware.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2009 : 06:59:30 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 20, 2009
Simplicity
Repeated experiences have forced us to this logically inescapable conclusion:
If we do not take the first drink, we never get drunk.
Therefore, instead of planning never to get drunk,
or trying to limit the number of drinks or the amount of alcohol,
we have learned to concentrate on avoiding only one drink: the first one.
In effect, instead of worrying about limiting the number of drinks at the end
of a drinking episode, we avoid the one drink that starts it.
Sounds almost foolishly simplistic, doesn't it?
©1998 AAWS, Living Sober, p. 5
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Nothing is so bad, that a drink won't make worse.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Absolute Abstinence.
History will made today!
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2009 : 10:58:24 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 21, 2009
Powerless
I did not know that it is physically impossible for me to drink moderately.
I did not know that my body's drinking machinery had worn out,
and that the parts could not be replaced.
I did not know that just one drink made it impossible
to control my behavior and conduct and my future drinking.
I did not know, in short, that I was powerless over alcohol.
My family and friends sensed or knew these things about me long before I did.
©2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 153
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
When we try to control our drinking, we have already lost control.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
One Day At A Time.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/22/2009 : 09:24:52 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 22, 2009
No Barriers
Many of my AA friends now are a generation or two older,
but there is no barrier. AA is big enough for all.
Each generation contributes its own gifts, talents, and thinking to AA.
Each brings its own ideas and beliefs.
We each bring our common disease of alcoholism, our free will,
and the right to work the AA principles as we understand them,
through a Power greater than ourselves.
©1969 AAWS, Young People and AA (pamphlet P-4), p. 27
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Tears, Laughter, Caring.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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| Information in this forum is not monitored or provided by a medical professional. The information reflects member opinions only. Do not act on advice from these forums without first consulting a qualified medical professional. All content is copyrighted and protected by Aelius Group. |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/23/2009 : 07:44:41 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 23, 2009
Adventure
Following this spiritual path made a major difference in my life.
It seemed to fill that lonely hole that I used to fill with alcohol.
My self-esteem improved dramatically,
and I knew happiness and serenity as I had never known before.
I started to see the beauty and usefulness in my own existence,
and tried to express my gratitude through helping others
in whatever ways I could.
A confidence and faith entered my life and unraveled a plan for me
that was bigger and better than I could ever imagined. . .
I have hope to share and love to give, and I just keep going one day at a time,
living this adventure called life.
©2001 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 287-288
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
May the road always lead where you need to be.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Adventurers Anonymous.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/24/2009 : 09:56:23 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 24, 2009
The Beacon
Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection.
So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt
for failure to achieve His likeness and image by Thursday next.
Progress is our aim,
and His perfection is the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on.
©1967 AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 15
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/25/2009 : 09:50:17 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 25, 2009
"Easy Does It"
We must learn to walk before we can run. That's why we have these slogans.
I use that "Easy Does It" every day to slow me down a little.
I have to watch myself all the time.
So I don't just take the inventory at night -- I take it continually throughout the day.
I stop and check it over first, and then let my conscience be my guide.
For me, AA has become a way of life.
©2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, p. 410
With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Thought to Ponder . . .
It works -- it really does.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
B E S T
Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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Freefly
Administrator
964 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2009 : 06:10:49 AM
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AA Thought for the Day
January 26, 2009
Challenges
Life is meant to be lived by facing the challenges it brings.
Otherwise, I'm not living, just existing.
God didn't give me this gift of sobriety to sit in a rocking chair,
imagining myself as some wise old woman who has arrived somewhere.
There is no easier, softer way.
To bring the great escape act into sobriety
is to travel with a companion that led me to despair long ago.
The teaching I receive in AA about courage and love
helps me to grapple with the challenges of life
as they are given to me one day at a time.
©1998 The AA Grapevine, Inc., The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 3], p. 320
Thought to Ponder . . .
What I am is Gods gift to me. What I make of myself is my gift to Him.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
Getting It From The Steps.
Day by Day is the only way.... |
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